Posts Tagged ‘wisdom’

DadPad Quotes and Notes: Don’t be an April Fool-Part 1

April 1, 2010

Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.

It’s April Fool’s day.  I’ve never been one that has taken to practical jokes, even on April Fool’s day.  I have heard of some great jokes and others that are just plain mean.  But, I want to talk about another kind of April Fool for the next three days leading up to Easter.

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If you’ve spent anytime reading this blog there are two things we hope you have been able to see.  First, we are not perfect dads and don’t profess to be so.  Second, we do profess faith in the One True Father and that is the underlying power for everyone who’s submitted an entry for this blog.  We often talk about being a father without overtly discussing elements of our Christian faith.  Yet, you’d be hard pressed (hopefully) to find anything that we have shared from our earthly experience as dads that we haven’t tried to base in our faith.

Given that premise, it’s our desire to share some things that more directly tie into our underlying faith as we lead  up to the most significant day in the New Testament church–Easter.

The verse in Proverbs at the beginning of this post says, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”  This is not only biblical but practical as well.  Yet, it seems to me that it is one of the hardest things for us to do as men.  Get advice.  Only when we reach the end of the rope will we let down our veneer and others inside our pain, our failings, our life.  This happens to too many men.  Is it true of you?

Throughout my life, I’ve been on both sides of this fence.  I’m the guy that doesn’t want to ask for directions.  I know it’s stereotypical, but it’s true for me.  GPS has been a God send :).  Yet, as I’ve walked through the years and experienced pain (much of it self inflicted), I’ve been thankful that there are a handful of men I can reach out to and know that they will be there for me.  I’m not just looking for advice.  I’m looking for wisdom from other men who care about me and who are grounded in their faith.  It doesn’t mean they walk perfectly but they first love God and they’ve shown an intentional love for others.

Dads, it’s our desire that this blog is a place where you can hear from other ordinary dads/men who walk with an extraordinary God.  We’ve made mistakes (some of which have been the fodder for DadPad blog posts and soon to be posts) and have experienced some success as men and dads.  All of us would say that we’ve had others from whom we could seek advice.  How about you?  Are you an April Fool and only looking to yourself for advice or do you seek the wise counsel of others?  To be the dads we need to be for our family, we hope it’s the latter for all of us.

Thought:  What successes have you had in being advised by another wise man?  What are the challenges of opening up to another?  What are the consequences if you don’t?

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Dad as Consultant-last in the series

April 9, 2009

Coach…Counselor…now Consultant. Over the past three posts I’ve shared a few thoughts about the importance of these sub-roles of being a Dad. Remember that I have stated you don’t distinctly move into these roles but there are phases where they become critical and are inherent in that phase. Coaching is ongoing but is really important during the first 8-9 years of your child’s life. Being a Counselor will undoubtedly be required as long your children are living but it is especially critical during this next phase of your children’s development, between 8-14 years of age. Then, there’s consulting.  I’m experiencing newness in this final sub-role as the consultant.

Having been in a number of business positions over the past 26 years, I’ve dealt with a lot consultantof consultants. I’m not sure I want to emulate many of them. However, they play a pivotal role in most organizations. They are able to step into a situation and see things from the outside and give a perspective that’s sometimes hard to see for the organization embroiled in the same issues day after day. So it is with a dad during this stage of life as he speaks into the increasingly complex world of his children.

Unlike a business consultant who can step away and move onto the next job without much ongoing ownership (other than the pride of knowing something he/she did helped an organization), a Dad is not supposed to step away in that manner from his children’s lives.  However, in this phase you must be invited in by your kids, much as a consultant being invited in by a company.   (more…)

Dad as Counselor

April 7, 2009

Merriam Webster defines a “counselor” as a person who gives advice. In the role of a lawyer, it’s someone who is an advocate for another. Both are descriptive of being a dad in those “tweener” years. Somewhere north of 7 or 8 years old and prior to high school, our children begin to put things together. The role of coach still applies (see previous two blog posts) but our kids are not as easily persuaded to simply take our “game plan” and they begin to want to know the “why” of life. They also need to know they have an “advocate”, someone who is on their side no matter what happens. Dad, you are “da man” for the “da job”.

dad_n_kidAs Counselor, you don’t need a degree in psychoanalysis to succeed in this role. You just need to begin taking time and invest in your children so that they can begin to ask questions about the life they are growing into. Somewhere between the ages of 8-10, I set up a time to “date” my children regularly. Coming up with a plan is half the battle. I took the birthdates of each of my kids and set that up as their monthly date night. (more…)