Posts Tagged ‘listening’

DadPad: Quotes & Notes – They are listening

March 4, 2010

The words that a father speaks to his children in the privacy of home are not heard by the world, but, as in whispering-galleries, they are clearly heard at the end and by posterity.  ~Jean Paul Richter

A number of years ago I wondered if my children heard anything that I had said.  There was a lot of head nodding and seeming understanding.  Yet, responses by action didn’t jive with those words of sage advice I had offered ;).  Than, one day I overheard my son talking to a friend of his.  I don’t recall the detail but he repeated something that I had spoken to him earlier as if he was now the authority.  I smirked to myself and learned that they are listening even when it doesn’t appear to be so.  Then, a brief moment of anxiety fell over me.  How many times had I said something that was less than sage, maybe even damaging, that I had prayed they WOULDN’T hear?

Truth is that I have spoken both words of encouragement and wisdom as well as words that hurt.  At the end of the day, that experience made me weigh my words on both sides to make sure that I didn’t waste any of them.  Because, they are listening.

What experiences have you had where you learned that you’re kids heard you loud and clear; those spoken in good times and those spoken out of anger and you wished you had back?

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Timing (and place) Is Everything

March 30, 2009

I picked my daughter, Amy, up from school one day last week and stopped off at Chick-fil-a. We were both hungry, but I also had a couple issues I wanted to discuss.

She was a little surprised by my questions, but our discussion went very well. As we were wrapping up, she asked me if our talk was the reason we’d stopped for something to eat. I said it was and thanked her for not being defensive. (more…)

I’m Listening…Really!

March 17, 2009

A couple of months ago while home from college, my daughter and I spent a lunch together on one of our periodic dates. It was a great time to catch up with her and live in her world for a few hours. I have missed hearing the regular details of her life during her freshman year. You know, the personal details that spill out over dinner or in car rides to church. Our conversation ebbed and flowed. Then, during one of those pregnant pauses that mark every good conversation, I snatched the opportunity to buzz-kill a light discussion.  I thought all dads did that ;).  I never miss the opportunity to “teach” a life lesson, much to the chagrin of my children. “So, honey, as you look back on our days together as a family, are there things that I’ve done as a dad that you wish I hadn’t done or would have done differently or would change now?” Door opened. And she entered. (more…)

Dad…Don’t say it!

January 31, 2009

The door between our garage and mud room opened.  Our daughter was home. My wife and I were planted on the sofa when the door opened. But, this was not a typical return home. “I had an accident” were the words she blurted out in rapid fire succession accompanied by high volume and many tears. I’m not always quick on the uptake but I did dad_daughter_hug_smallthat it wasn’t likely a serious accident since she had not been escorted into our home by an officer.

The words began to form over my tongue. They quickly spilled forward into the cavity of my mouth and were being arranged for a volcanic spewing. “AN ACCIDENT”…”WHY CAN’T YOU BE MORE CAREFUL”…”YOU WON’T BE DRIVING UNTIL YOU’RE 25”. They were forming easily and furiously. Then, a wonder of God took place. The Spirit of the Lord gave me a peace and nearly audible instruction to wait before speaking. James 1:19-20 flooded my mind and I became “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (more…)