Posts Tagged ‘Father’

The Reverse Hit-n-Run

February 21, 2011

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Here’s a funny little interaction between a father and son:

Dad: Didn’t you promise to behave while I was gone?

Son: Yes, Sir.

Dad: And didn’t I promise to discipline you if you didn’t?

Son: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don’t expect you to 
keep yours.

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250 Toys in 260 Weeks…really?

February 2, 2011

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I remember one evening getting up in the middle of the evening to go into another room in our house.  Lighting was scarce.  My steps were short and slow.  With small kids you never know what got left on the floor to inflict pain you can’t describe.  And then it happened…a pain shot up my leg as if I had stepped on a scorpion.  But, it wasn’t live.  It was a toy from our favorite fast food restaurant.  I’m sure I let something slip out that wasn’t Christian or family-rated.  Ahhh…I remember those days.

Toys.  Our kids had toys.  More than they ever needed or played with long term.  I wish I had marked each toy with something that indicated how many times they actually got picked up and used.  This morning during a men’s gathering at our church called, The Battle, Tim Lundy illustrated our love for “stuff” by sharing this statistic…by the time our children enter Kindergarten they’ve had, on average, about 250 toys.  When they are 260 weeks old, they have had nearly a toy a week.  Wow.  The sad thing is that many times those toys were only played with by the children, if they were played with at all.  When you add a Dad to the mix, the toy is no longer the central piece of the story.  When Dad is available to make those toys come alive, memories occur.

So, Dad, what if you went home tonight and took one of those old toys (or made something up) and began to draw near to your child?  Can’t you see the smile now?  Have some fun.  Role play.  Card play.  Yell.  Roar.  But don’t let your children live with the memory years from now that the toys in their life created pain—a representation of a substitute for time with dad and a fathers pain of a late night misstep.  Time…not toys.

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$%#* My Dad Says: Funny Yes But Innocent Fun?

October 12, 2010

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I love social media.  I love the potential it has to connect, inform, extend and expand relationships and influence in business, personal and ministry realms.  In fact, I’ve spent a lot of time reading, watching and learning about it while I help others try to use it for more than sharing their meal habits or doings during the day.  So, it’s not surprising to me that it’s been not only in the news but it’s currently in the forefront of our entertainment.  Social Networking, the movie about Mark Zuckerberg’s journey with Facebook is the #1 movie in the country as I write.  And, a TELEVISION SHOW has been created out of a Twitter stream!  Who would have thought that a seemingly innocent effort by a young man to share the phrases his dad says would bring about a Twitter following of more than 1.7 MILLION and be the basis for a new fall TV show on CBS called, #$&@ My Dad Says.

Now, before you go to read Justin’s twitter feed, I warn you that the words and phrases on the Twitter stream are not decoded and are very explicit—definitely “R” rated.  I’ve read the stream and do find it very funny much of the time.  But, I think that’s because he’s not MY dad.  How would I really feel if he was saying that to me?  It’s one thing when it’s someone else’s dad.  But it’s ALWAYS SOMEONE’S dad!

Here’s my thought:  As funny as Justin’s dads comments might be, what would happen to our kids if we were to say these things to our children on a regular basis–i.e., what REAL impact might they have?  Most of our conversations to our children that cut them down, minimize their decisions, ridicule their comments or simply question their intelligence will not be fodder for a nationally shown television show.  And, I argue, even if they were, is that the model we want to shoot for?  Funny?  Maybe?   Words can tear apart the soul of a child.   Is it worth the momentary laugh if you deflate your child for a lifetime?  Can you justify the damage your words could do to your child by telling them that they are nothing more than an idiot for thinking or saying something I didn’t agree with, all for the sake of pumping yourself up or for a quick “LOL”?  I guess it begs the question, “how do you talk to your children?”  Do you lift them up with your tongue or use it as a whip and a platform for your comedy?  It’s an important question.  The answer might leave long and painful scars or provide a safe harbor for your children to mature within.

When it comes to evaluating the cost of success for the family emulated in this television show, I believe the cost far outweighs the millions they all get from TV, books, and other money making ventures associated with this theme.  I guess being a father of courage, giving up your own interests for the interests of your family, sacrificing time and energy to show them how important they are doesn’t make for good TV material.  So, ripping your kid because he said something stupid doesn’t have any ill effect.  I’ll just tear them apart because it’s funny and will make us a fortune when they cast our family’s dysfunction into a prime time show.  It’s a lie.  A fathers words carry a huge impact on our children—both for good and for evil.

I’m often saddened by the way that fathers are portrayed on television.  Name ONE from today’s shows that you’d like to be YOUR dad?  Dads—we don’t get our example of how to father our kids from television, that’s for sure.  But, where can we get a model of how to do this thing called “fathering”?  B  I  B  L  E.  It’s the only book I’ve ever found that gives me wise counsel every time I open it up.

Additionally, I tap into the network of dads in my life who really WANT to be Godly and influential dads.  None of us do it right all the time.  That’s OK.  As long as we’re doing it better today than we did yesterday we are becoming the dads God created us to be.  Hang in their dad!  Don’t emulate TV dads.  Follow our Heavenly dad and find a few down here who will come alongside you and be an encourager and, when needed, provide a little butt kicking too (without the coarse language :).

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3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Discipline Your Child

May 7, 2009

Disciplining children is a very touchy (pun not intended) subject. However, it’s hard to imagine a Dad blog that doesn’t deal with some of the challenges this issue raises. And, there’s a very good chance that we, the authors of DadPad, don’t agree on all aspects of the “how to’s” of disciplining our children. So, for some of my additional thoughts about this topic, read the post-blog thoughts after the SOUND OFF question below.

My wife and I recently attended a FamilyLife Weekend To Remember. We serve as missionaries on staff with FamilyLife so this marriage conference has helped and continues to help us in our marriage. If you’ve never gone, you really need to consider going…and at least every other year.  OK, enough of the plug.  Anyway, at the conference, the men and women separate on Sunday mornings to hear role specific teaching.  Greg Speck, one of the weekend’s speakers, spoke to the men about being a father.  In the area of disciplining children he shared this thought provoking statement; (more…)

Dad Duties-Dad as Coach Part Deux

April 3, 2009

As we segment the lifecycle of fathering into the three chapters of coach, counselor and consultant, it’s commonly perceived that being a coach is the most important part of a dad’s responsibility through the PE-127-0820first 6-7 years of their child’s life. I contend that, in reality, a dad is all three of these (coach, counselor, consultant) all the time throughout their children’s lives. It’s just that the emphasis may change as our children grow up. We need to adapt to their needs. And, it’s in these first few years of life that our coaching ability is critical. Thankfully, perfection is not required, but intentionality is.

KEY COACHING VERSE: Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Prov 22:6 (more…)

Knee Pads Required

March 25, 2009

Growing up in a home that was irreligious (not anti-Christian, just no evidence of faith lived out), the practices of faith were never expressed in a way that I would catch them.  Prayer was not an everyday practice except for the mealtime ritual speed mumbling of “Come Lord Jesus, be our guest.  And let these gifts to us be blessed. Amen”.  We usually said that so fast that I don’t know if I really knew what I was praying until I just wrote them above.  It sounded more like, “Comelordjesus be-r-guest andletthesegiftstousbeblessed.  Amen.”

Needless to say, the power of this prayer was probably lost in translation. When I came to a personal relationship with Christ at the ripe age of 17, I began to understand the part Prayer played (and plays) in a relationship with God.  (more…)

The Weenie Gene

February 23, 2009

Most of my friends would describe me as a risk-taker.   I like to launch businesses without a safety net — you know, before the requisite two weeks of salary was squirreled away.   I’ve started three businesses that way.  I also take investment risks.  My favorite investment strategy is to buy stocks that are poised for rebound. Take for instance, my most recent purchase, Bank of America.  I got in on that one nicely for 6 times more than it is trading today — a rebound phenomenon known as the dead cat bounce.  I must like dead cats because I hold them too, except Apple. As my investment fortune would have it, I was able to unload my shares in that company three weeks before the stock skyrocketed on the debut of the iPod. 

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When Daddy Comes Home

January 27, 2009

“Daddy’s home!” — a distant echo from a time when my children were overjoyed to see me come home after a long day at the office. They were young then and, like their mom, no doubt happy to have someone different to interact with for a while.

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Father, forgive them!

January 19, 2009

I had lunch this week with Dave, a friend of mine and father of three adult children.  The topic of this blog came up so I asked, “What’s the greatest lesson you’ve learned as a dad?”  Dave’s answer was profoundly succinct, “Expect less, love more.”

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