Posts Tagged ‘Dad’

The Reverse Hit-n-Run

February 21, 2011

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Here’s a funny little interaction between a father and son:

Dad: Didn’t you promise to behave while I was gone?

Son: Yes, Sir.

Dad: And didn’t I promise to discipline you if you didn’t?

Son: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don’t expect you to 
keep yours.

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250 Toys in 260 Weeks…really?

February 2, 2011

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I remember one evening getting up in the middle of the evening to go into another room in our house.  Lighting was scarce.  My steps were short and slow.  With small kids you never know what got left on the floor to inflict pain you can’t describe.  And then it happened…a pain shot up my leg as if I had stepped on a scorpion.  But, it wasn’t live.  It was a toy from our favorite fast food restaurant.  I’m sure I let something slip out that wasn’t Christian or family-rated.  Ahhh…I remember those days.

Toys.  Our kids had toys.  More than they ever needed or played with long term.  I wish I had marked each toy with something that indicated how many times they actually got picked up and used.  This morning during a men’s gathering at our church called, The Battle, Tim Lundy illustrated our love for “stuff” by sharing this statistic…by the time our children enter Kindergarten they’ve had, on average, about 250 toys.  When they are 260 weeks old, they have had nearly a toy a week.  Wow.  The sad thing is that many times those toys were only played with by the children, if they were played with at all.  When you add a Dad to the mix, the toy is no longer the central piece of the story.  When Dad is available to make those toys come alive, memories occur.

So, Dad, what if you went home tonight and took one of those old toys (or made something up) and began to draw near to your child?  Can’t you see the smile now?  Have some fun.  Role play.  Card play.  Yell.  Roar.  But don’t let your children live with the memory years from now that the toys in their life created pain—a representation of a substitute for time with dad and a fathers pain of a late night misstep.  Time…not toys.

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From the Set of Courageous: A Sheriffs Heart

June 17, 2010

If you ever want to really see the power of a father in a child’s life (good or bad) just ask someone to share thoughts about what they would say to their dad if he was standing there next to them at that moment.  I had that opportunity as I worked on the set of Courageous as part of my job at FamilyLife and helping with the promotion of fatherhood issues raised in the movie via social media.  Nearly every time I asked that at the end of an interview I conducted emotions were raw and sometimes there were tears–both joy and pain.  The movie is still being filmed and won’t be released until 2011.  But, there is so much power coming through the movie that I wanted to share or repost a blog article from Courageous Movie’s website/blog. And, since we are nearing father’s day, it’s appropriate to listen to and think about.

From Courageous Movie website:

When Sherwood Pictures was filming Fireproof, the support of the Albany Fire Department was an important element in helping the film realistically portray the realities firefighters face on a daily basis.

With Courageous, the support of the Dougherty County Sheriff’s Department, led by Sheriff Kevin Sproul, has been equally important—and equally impressive. Members of the Sheriff’s Department have been on set at different times throughout the filming, including Sheriff.

Stephen Kendrick spoke with Sheriff Sproul this week, but the focus of their conversation wasn’t on moviemaking or law enforcement. Instead, they spoke about the power of a father.

When we hear that phrase, we want to think about the positive influence of a dad in a child’s life. But in this video, Sheriff Sproul tells how he saw a father’s impact unfortunately played out in the life of a young man he coached in youth baseball.

As Father’s Day arrives this weekend, our prayer becomes more intense that dads everywhere will be inspired by Courageous to stand strongly and proudly proclaim, “But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Father’s Day Fast Forward

June 19, 2009

Leary, Gregg and I have shared some memories of our dads over the past three posts. Some to be cherished. Lessons learned. Sadness revisited. The role of the father in the family is powerful. As father’s we want to leave a legacy to our children that will make a difference in their lives for good and build into the legacies they’ll leave to their children and their children’s children. We will take turns sharing the things we hope our children remember us for long past Father’s day!

Gregg Stutts-

The year is 2046. I pass away just a few months before my 61st wedding anniversary. I can’t complain though. I’d asked God to bless me with 60 years of marriage and He did. And now He has graciously allowed me to listen in to my memorial service. My children are about to share…

“I want to thank my dad for loving and serving my mom so well and for helping her become all God wanted her to be. Because I saw what my parents had, I knew what kind of marriage I wanted to have.”

“My dad’s natural bent was to worry and be anxious, but I saw him worry less and less over the years. He never stopped in his pursuit to believe God, not his circumstances. He showed me what it looked like to truly experience the peace of God no matter what was going on in his life.”

“My dad was full of grace. I always knew he loved me and accepted me unconditionally. He never stopped encouraging and affirming me for who I was, not just for what I did.”

“Most of you probably don’t know this, but my dad was pretty weird. He did and said a lot of funny things. Well, at least he thought they were funny. We just thought he was weird. He really enjoyed life and loved making himself laugh.”

May God grant me 60 years of marriage and may I be this kind of man.

3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Discipline Your Child

May 7, 2009

Disciplining children is a very touchy (pun not intended) subject. However, it’s hard to imagine a Dad blog that doesn’t deal with some of the challenges this issue raises. And, there’s a very good chance that we, the authors of DadPad, don’t agree on all aspects of the “how to’s” of disciplining our children. So, for some of my additional thoughts about this topic, read the post-blog thoughts after the SOUND OFF question below.

My wife and I recently attended a FamilyLife Weekend To Remember. We serve as missionaries on staff with FamilyLife so this marriage conference has helped and continues to help us in our marriage. If you’ve never gone, you really need to consider going…and at least every other year.  OK, enough of the plug.  Anyway, at the conference, the men and women separate on Sunday mornings to hear role specific teaching.  Greg Speck, one of the weekend’s speakers, spoke to the men about being a father.  In the area of disciplining children he shared this thought provoking statement; (more…)

Dad as Counselor

April 7, 2009

Merriam Webster defines a “counselor” as a person who gives advice. In the role of a lawyer, it’s someone who is an advocate for another. Both are descriptive of being a dad in those “tweener” years. Somewhere north of 7 or 8 years old and prior to high school, our children begin to put things together. The role of coach still applies (see previous two blog posts) but our kids are not as easily persuaded to simply take our “game plan” and they begin to want to know the “why” of life. They also need to know they have an “advocate”, someone who is on their side no matter what happens. Dad, you are “da man” for the “da job”.

dad_n_kidAs Counselor, you don’t need a degree in psychoanalysis to succeed in this role. You just need to begin taking time and invest in your children so that they can begin to ask questions about the life they are growing into. Somewhere between the ages of 8-10, I set up a time to “date” my children regularly. Coming up with a plan is half the battle. I took the birthdates of each of my kids and set that up as their monthly date night. (more…)

Dad Duties-Dad as Coach Part Deux

April 3, 2009

As we segment the lifecycle of fathering into the three chapters of coach, counselor and consultant, it’s commonly perceived that being a coach is the most important part of a dad’s responsibility through the PE-127-0820first 6-7 years of their child’s life. I contend that, in reality, a dad is all three of these (coach, counselor, consultant) all the time throughout their children’s lives. It’s just that the emphasis may change as our children grow up. We need to adapt to their needs. And, it’s in these first few years of life that our coaching ability is critical. Thankfully, perfection is not required, but intentionality is.

KEY COACHING VERSE: Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Prov 22:6 (more…)

Timing (and place) Is Everything

March 30, 2009

I picked my daughter, Amy, up from school one day last week and stopped off at Chick-fil-a. We were both hungry, but I also had a couple issues I wanted to discuss.

She was a little surprised by my questions, but our discussion went very well. As we were wrapping up, she asked me if our talk was the reason we’d stopped for something to eat. I said it was and thanked her for not being defensive. (more…)

Knee Pads Required

March 25, 2009

Growing up in a home that was irreligious (not anti-Christian, just no evidence of faith lived out), the practices of faith were never expressed in a way that I would catch them.  Prayer was not an everyday practice except for the mealtime ritual speed mumbling of “Come Lord Jesus, be our guest.  And let these gifts to us be blessed. Amen”.  We usually said that so fast that I don’t know if I really knew what I was praying until I just wrote them above.  It sounded more like, “Comelordjesus be-r-guest andletthesegiftstousbeblessed.  Amen.”

Needless to say, the power of this prayer was probably lost in translation. When I came to a personal relationship with Christ at the ripe age of 17, I began to understand the part Prayer played (and plays) in a relationship with God.  (more…)

Nice Hat!

March 13, 2009

Some of the best memories I have of my Dad are the times when we started something with excitement, got half-way in, and then didn’t know whether we could salvage it from disaster. There was that woefully under-powered go-cart we built, named the “Chug,” assembled from a scavenged motor, a plank stolen from the basement shelves, and wheels bought at the hardware store. We were stumped when it came to rigging up the steering mechanism, and the assembly stopped. I was eleven, and an eager helper, but the engineering was way over my head. One night we were seated at dinner when my Dad jumped to his feet, shouted: “I know how we can do it!” and bolted down the basement stairs. I was on his heals, still swallowing my chicken casserole. There, with shafts, axles, and chunks of steel the basic geometry of our steering dilemma was solved. The next day we went to the welder for a few precision bends of the steel spindles, and progress resumed.

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