Posts Tagged ‘coaching’

“Yes, you can.”

July 6, 2009

I love to give permission for my kids to do things they enjoy, particularly in the summertime. The season goes by so quickly in Minnesota, it’s tempting to pack as much activity in as possible. “Yes, you can,” is heard a lot at our home. I suppose you could call me an enabler.

upset boy against a wallBut I prefer being another kind of enabler—one that says “Yes, you can!” when they feel uncertain about their abilities. One of the greatest challenges they’ll face is their own self-diminishment. Taking thoughts captive and replacing untruth with truth is one of the hardest skills to master. As their dad, I want to help them recognize early the symptoms of stinkin’ thinkin’ (as Zig Ziglar calls it) and encourage them to say to themselves, “Yes. I can.”

These suggestions may help you become that kind of enabler as well:

  • Be a detective. It’s likely your kids are harboring self-defeat in some form. Like a detective, look for evidence of stinkin’ thinking. But tread lightly. You don’t want to push the culprit back into hiding.
  • Inquire about new experiences. Has your child picked up a new friend recently or started a new activity? The start of any new endeavor is often filled with self-doubt. Ask about their new experiences and listen carefully to their responses.
  • Explore abandoned experiences. Has your child recently abandoned a sport, hobby, or other social activity? Not every activity is meant to last forever, but sudden loss of interest may be a clue that your child has hit the internal wall of self-doubt.
  • Encourage replacement challenges. Find challenges that stretch and don’t break. If possible join them in it and encourage them along the way.
  • Pray for break-through moments. Sometimes it doesn’t take a lot of detective work to discover self-defeating thinking in our kids. Saying, “you shouldn’t think that way” is usually not effective. That’s when it’s best to pray for a break-through moment. These are times when a shared experience becomes a teachable moment. A shared experience affords the opportunity to talk about the experience together and share how you worked through your own self-doubt.

What suggestions have you found helpful for enabling a “Yes, I can” belief in your children?

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Dad Duties-Dad as Coach Part Deux

April 3, 2009

As we segment the lifecycle of fathering into the three chapters of coach, counselor and consultant, it’s commonly perceived that being a coach is the most important part of a dad’s responsibility through the PE-127-0820first 6-7 years of their child’s life. I contend that, in reality, a dad is all three of these (coach, counselor, consultant) all the time throughout their children’s lives. It’s just that the emphasis may change as our children grow up. We need to adapt to their needs. And, it’s in these first few years of life that our coaching ability is critical. Thankfully, perfection is not required, but intentionality is.

KEY COACHING VERSE: Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Prov 22:6 (more…)

Dad Duties Part I: Dad as Coach, Counselor and Consultant

April 1, 2009

There’s a theory out there in the annals of “daddom” that the lifecycle of fathering can be loosely characterized by three major phases; Dad as Coach, Dad as Counselor, and Dad as Consultant. Over the next few posts, I’m going to break these down and look a little bit deeper into each of these “job descriptions.”

locker-room-coach

Motivational. Inspirational. Teaching. Leadership. These are just a few of the adjectives that capture the essence of being a great coach. I love sports so when I hear the word “coach”, my mind is immediately filled with some of the great coaches in sports history. Guys like Vince Lombardi, George “The Gipper” Gipp, or the legendary George Halas. Then there’s always a local lore that brings my mind back to coaches of my favorite teams. Coaches like Bud Grant of the once dominant (never Super Bowl winning) Minnesota Vikings, Billy Martin of the Minnesota Twins or Murray Warmath of Gopher football fame. No matter who comes to mind for you, every successful coach possesses these traits.

Coaches are motivational. Some of the greatest speeches ever uttered have been shared in the locker room of college and professional sports teams. (more…)

Of Fortune Cookies and Cracker Jacks

March 3, 2009

I’ve decided that Chinese restaurants are for the kid at heart.  Where else can you go and get a surprise with every meal?  Fortune cookies are like Cracker Jacks.  You never take the toy seriously, but it sure is fun to find.  This week at the conclusion of a buffet of egg foo young, fried rice and fifteen different flavors of prepared chicken, an unusual event took place.  As my business colleagues all chuckled over their “fortunes” – they were funny – I excitedly broke open my cookie, only to find it vacant. There was no “A promotion is in your future” (good news for the self-employed) or “Sell rather than be poor.”  I got nothing, nada, zilch.  I wanted to return my entire buffet, like a defective box of Cracker Jacks.

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