Archive for the ‘daughters’ Category

A Letter to My Daughters

February 8, 2011

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E… and J…

Hopefully, what I’m about to share with you isn’t the first time you recall hearing these things.  And, I know it’s a little weird to see them in the middle of a blog post (you know your weird dad :)).  But, maybe there’s just one dad out there who needs to see a dad express some of these things as  a reminder to share them with his daughter.  Thanks for humoring me, again.

You both know that I thank God daily for giving us (your mom and I) such beautiful girls.  And, you are not simply beautiful externally (which you are) but more importantly, you are becoming more and more beautiful internally.  You’re love for the Lord is becoming more and more evident by the way you serve and love others.  I see a Spirit in you that is helping shape and mold you into the woman God is designing.  It’s what your mother and I have prayed since before you were born, and continue to pray for you each day.

One day there will be a boy, er, young man who sweeps you off your feet.  We’ve watched Father of the Bride so many times that you can almost imagine how I’ll react.  I just pray you don’t have to bail me out of jail for opening bags of hot dog buns in the grocery store.  And, I won’t suggest the Steak Pit for your wedding reception.  Until that day comes, I know that God is continuing to refine you in preparation of that day.  And, He’s refining that young man as well.  I pray that you will let me, as your dad, help you and advise you as you enter into relationships over the coming years.  Not because I don’t think you can make wise choices but because you know that I love you and want the best for you.  And, when it comes to “love”, emotions and feelings often mask reality.  You need someone to help you see how this young man not only treats you in your dating but how he will treat you in marriage.

You are both gifts from God more priceless than anything else He has given your mother and I to raise.  I love you, both, more than you’ll ever know.  Your mom and I are proud of the young women you’re becoming.  We love you and look forward to that day when you announce that you have found the man that you (and we) have been praying for all these years.  Until (and even after) that day, you’re still, my “little” girls.  I love you….Daddy

Chick-fil-A’s Daddy/Daughter Date night

June 23, 2010

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I had a date with my 18 year old daughter last night.  We’ve had a lot of dates during her 18 years.  This one was a little different.  I took her out to a really nice restaurant with table cloths, reservations required and great food.  No, it wasn’t a 5 star-expensive eatery.  It was a local Chick-fil-A restaurant in West Little Rock, AR.  And, it wasn’t my idea.  It was their’s–Chick-fil-A’s.  Using Facebook, the owner/operators sent out a message to all the Facebook Group members that they were having a daddy/daughter date night on Tuesday, June 22.  All you needed to do was to email or call to reserve your seat.  I thought, “what a great idea”.  Hadn’t had a date with my daughter for a while and we both love Chick-fil-A so, why not.   Then, after stopping there for lunch earlier in the week, there was a little bag stuffer that reminded me of the Daddy/Daughter date night.  I asked my daughter if she wanted to go and she was quick to take me up on the offer (probably because it was a free meal 🙂 but maybe because she wanted to spend some time with the old man too).  But, she thought that most of the “couples” might be dads with their young daughters so we went as “uninvited” guests–on the “dl” (down-low for the uncool).

We entered and saw the tables in a section of the restaurant reserved for dads and their dates.  Just before  they entered the restaurant they were given a name tag and checked off the invitation list.  The owners posted reservations in half-hour increments from 5-7 pm.  So, dads and their daughters were streaming in while I enjoyed dinner with my date in another part of the restaurant.  As the couples entered they were greeted by the CFA “Eat Mor Chikin'” cow.  After they ordered and were seated they enjoyed one of the finest chicken sandwiches (or whatever they ordered) on the planet (in my humble opinion).  Then, upon leaving, the young ladies were given a carnation as a reminder of their special evening.  Some of the dads took their young dates to the play area for an after dinner slide or climb.  All the while, my daughter and I shared a nice meal together, connecting about our days–nothing earth shattering–just some good, quality time together, along with many other dads and daughters.

For all of you restaurant owners/managers out there…here’s a great way for you to contribute to the health of your city.  By providing an evening event for dads that was easy for them to act upon, this Chick-fil-A manager provided a win/win scenario.  The popularity of the event meant he had not reserved a portion of his resaurant in vain (I spoke with his wife (they are friends) and she said the 5pm slot was sold out–not sure how the others went but we saw a steady stream of dads and daughters pouring in during and after our time there).  Additionally, there may have been some new dad/daughter date night traditions kicked off in that Chick-fil-A restaurant that night.  Overall, it was a great event for the restaurant and for dads in the Little Rock area.  Way to go, Chick-fil-A!!!  Dads…it’s also a great reminder to start dating your daughters AND your sons on a regular basis.  Chick-fil-A made this one a no-brainer.  But, it’s not hard.  In fact, I’ve heard of dads who have put on their “Sunday best” and come to the front door to pick up their finely dressed date.  Make it special…make it fun…make it simple—-but do “make it”.  And, if they are grown—start now.  Never a better time than the present to spend time with your children, no matter how old they are.

Well, I guess it’s time to start thinking about where I need to take my wife on a date now.  Any other restaurants in Little Rock want to invest in marriage dates?  I’ll be checking on Facebook.

DadPad Quotes & Notes: Prom Night (not the movie)

March 18, 2010

~ Right then I realized, my day had passed. She’ll always love me, of course, but not in the same way. I was no longer the man in my little girl’s life. I was like an old shoe. The kind we manufacture and get all excited about, then after a few years discontinue. That was me now. Mr. Discontinued.~  George Banks

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That quote from George Banks, the dad in one of our family’s favorite movies (Father of the Bride-1991) is related to his daughter getting married.  Well, our daughter isn’t getting married (hopefully she’d actually be dating someone first) but she continues to knock out the logical hurdles as we move closer to that date in the (very distant :)) future: Prom Night.

In the last post I shared with you the way I, as a father, viewed this whole Prom thing.  The idea of watching her dress up for a night that signifies her last major event before before graduation and then off to college, gives me a little pain, a little tear. And, seeing the price of the dress brings more pain, more tears.  But that will all pale in comparison to the tears I will shed when I have to give my daughters hand away to the man God has brought to her for marriage.

Currently, we are far from that.  Prom night reminds me that we’re not as far off as it might seem (or as I might like it to be :)).  Truthfully, I’ve been praying for both of my daughters’ wedding day since before they were born (and my son’s as well).  Though there are no guarantees, I’m confident God will answer according to His plan for their lives.  Yet, before we hear wedding bells we will hear door bells from some Neanderthals who come by to date our daughters.

Dennis Rainey of FamilyLife (the ministry that my wife and I have served with for the past five+ years) has written a book entitled, Interviewing Your Daughters Date, and in it he has provided some great counsel for dads when it comes to meeting the knuckle-scraping young man who’s come to take your daughter out.  The idea is to actually interview her date well before the actual evening arrives.

Now, I’ve only had to do this interviewing-thing twice (for my oldest daughters Prom date–even though she wasn’t interested in him in THAT way and for a very short dating relationship my youngest daughter was in as a Junior).  But, each time, I used Dennis’ tips to help me conduct the interview.  Here are just a couple of the things he mentions in the book, Interviewing Your Daughters Date– a few of the 8 Things to ask or share with your daughters prospective date during the interview:

1) Make sure he understands that your daughter is the most precious gift in the world and she is God’s handiwork.

3) Remind him that you were once a teenager with raging hormones so you know EXACTLY what he’s thinking

7) Confirm that he understands your message

You’ll have to get the book to get the whole interview down pat.  GOOD NEWS!!  Check back on Friday because I’ll be sharing how you can win a free copy of Dennis Rainey’s book, Interviewing Your Daughter’s Date.

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DadPad: Quotes & Notes

February 19, 2010

From one of my favorite movies:

Stanley T. Banks; Father of the Bride
You fathers will understand. You have a little girl. She looks up to you. You’re her oracle. You’re her hero. And then the day comes when she gets her first permanent wave and goes to her first real party, and from that day on, you’re in a constant state of panic.

As the father of two young women, I’m awaiting the day that my daughters meet “Mr. Right”.  For now and until that day, I’d settle for being their hero 🙂 (next to the Lord, of course).

The Allure of Beauty

October 17, 2009

The allure of a beauty. It’s driven men since Adam. And it’s driven women, too. In Esther’s time, a girl would undergo twelve months of beauty treatment before being presented to the king (Esther 2:12). That’s a lot of investment. Today, the model of beauty can be achieved in minutes. Except, it isn’t real.

A few years ago, the folks at Unilever, the makers of DOVE personal cleansing products, launched the DOVE Self-Esteem Fund in partnership with the Girl Scouts to raise self-esteem in girls ages 8 to 14. Below is one of a series of videos aimed at reminding young women that today’s popular images of beauty are not what they appear to be.

Take a look and use it as a discussion starter with your daughters. Remind them that the best image of beauty is their reflection of God’s delight through them.

Following the initial publication of this post, the referenced YouTube video has been removed. You can find the referenced video by clicking on the “videos” link provided above and selecting the video “Evolution”. Unfortunately, there is no way to link directly to that video or embed it into this post without, apparently, violating acceptable use by Unilever Corporation.

What are some of the other ways you see beauty distorted today?