Archive for the ‘Dad’ Category

The Reverse Hit-n-Run

February 21, 2011

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Here’s a funny little interaction between a father and son:

Dad: Didn’t you promise to behave while I was gone?

Son: Yes, Sir.

Dad: And didn’t I promise to discipline you if you didn’t?

Son: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don’t expect you to 
keep yours.

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You Da Man by Dennis Rainey

February 9, 2011

Really liked Dennis Rainey’s devotion today from Moments With You devotional.  Debunks the fallacy that a strong man in the home is a threat to the wife/mom but rather correctly states that a man who leads his home spiritually, physically and courageously is a blessing to the health and viability of the family and its’ legacy.

You Da Man   (excerpt from Dennis Rainey/Moments With You)

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

Dennis Rainey

After speaking at a Promise Keepers event in Houston, I was met by a television crew offstage. The interviewer baited me by mentioning a group of women picketing the event and what they perceived as men being encouraged to take advantage of women.

In reality, the demonstration was pretty minor—a couple dozen women outside the Astrodome while 40,000 men stood inside worshiping the Lord. Still, I looked the camera in its little glass eye and said, “You know, it baffles me how any woman could criticize an organization that’s calling men to be responsible fathers and husbands.”

I added, as an example, “Up front, just to the left of where I was speaking a moment ago, there were more than 30 prisoners dressed in white. They had been given a day’s pass so that they could come to the entire session today. If you went up to interview them right now, you would find that most of these incarcerated men never had a daddy in their lives.”

READ ENTIRE DEVOTION…

A Letter to My Daughters

February 8, 2011

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E… and J…

Hopefully, what I’m about to share with you isn’t the first time you recall hearing these things.  And, I know it’s a little weird to see them in the middle of a blog post (you know your weird dad :)).  But, maybe there’s just one dad out there who needs to see a dad express some of these things as  a reminder to share them with his daughter.  Thanks for humoring me, again.

You both know that I thank God daily for giving us (your mom and I) such beautiful girls.  And, you are not simply beautiful externally (which you are) but more importantly, you are becoming more and more beautiful internally.  You’re love for the Lord is becoming more and more evident by the way you serve and love others.  I see a Spirit in you that is helping shape and mold you into the woman God is designing.  It’s what your mother and I have prayed since before you were born, and continue to pray for you each day.

One day there will be a boy, er, young man who sweeps you off your feet.  We’ve watched Father of the Bride so many times that you can almost imagine how I’ll react.  I just pray you don’t have to bail me out of jail for opening bags of hot dog buns in the grocery store.  And, I won’t suggest the Steak Pit for your wedding reception.  Until that day comes, I know that God is continuing to refine you in preparation of that day.  And, He’s refining that young man as well.  I pray that you will let me, as your dad, help you and advise you as you enter into relationships over the coming years.  Not because I don’t think you can make wise choices but because you know that I love you and want the best for you.  And, when it comes to “love”, emotions and feelings often mask reality.  You need someone to help you see how this young man not only treats you in your dating but how he will treat you in marriage.

You are both gifts from God more priceless than anything else He has given your mother and I to raise.  I love you, both, more than you’ll ever know.  Your mom and I are proud of the young women you’re becoming.  We love you and look forward to that day when you announce that you have found the man that you (and we) have been praying for all these years.  Until (and even after) that day, you’re still, my “little” girls.  I love you….Daddy

250 Toys in 260 Weeks…really?

February 2, 2011

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I remember one evening getting up in the middle of the evening to go into another room in our house.  Lighting was scarce.  My steps were short and slow.  With small kids you never know what got left on the floor to inflict pain you can’t describe.  And then it happened…a pain shot up my leg as if I had stepped on a scorpion.  But, it wasn’t live.  It was a toy from our favorite fast food restaurant.  I’m sure I let something slip out that wasn’t Christian or family-rated.  Ahhh…I remember those days.

Toys.  Our kids had toys.  More than they ever needed or played with long term.  I wish I had marked each toy with something that indicated how many times they actually got picked up and used.  This morning during a men’s gathering at our church called, The Battle, Tim Lundy illustrated our love for “stuff” by sharing this statistic…by the time our children enter Kindergarten they’ve had, on average, about 250 toys.  When they are 260 weeks old, they have had nearly a toy a week.  Wow.  The sad thing is that many times those toys were only played with by the children, if they were played with at all.  When you add a Dad to the mix, the toy is no longer the central piece of the story.  When Dad is available to make those toys come alive, memories occur.

So, Dad, what if you went home tonight and took one of those old toys (or made something up) and began to draw near to your child?  Can’t you see the smile now?  Have some fun.  Role play.  Card play.  Yell.  Roar.  But don’t let your children live with the memory years from now that the toys in their life created pain—a representation of a substitute for time with dad and a fathers pain of a late night misstep.  Time…not toys.

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A DadPad Rerun: Nice Hat!

October 21, 2010

originally written by Roger Thompson

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Some of the best memories I have of my Dad are the times when we started something with excitement, got half-way in, and then didn’t know whether we could salvage it from disaster. There was that woefully under-powered go-cart we built, named the “Chug,” assembled from a scavenged motor, a plank stolen from the basement shelves, and wheels bought at the hardware store. We were stumped when it came to rigging up the steering mechanism, and the assembly stopped. I was eleven, and an eager helper, but the engineering was way over my head. One night we were seated at dinner when my Dad jumped to his feet, shouted: “I know how we can do it!” and bolted down the basement stairs. I was on his heals, still swallowing my chicken casserole. There, with shafts, axles, and chunks of steel the basic geometry of our steering dilemma was solved. The next day we went to the welder for a few precision bends of the steel spindles, and progress resumed.

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A DadPad Rerun: Father, Forgive them

October 15, 2010

by Leary Gates

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I had lunch this week with Dave, a friend of mine and father of three adult children.  The topic of this blog came up so I asked, “What’s the greatest lesson you’ve learned as a dad?”  Dave’s answer was profoundly succinct, “Expect less, love more.

As I reflected upon his advice, I remembered Jesus’ prayer on the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”  (Luke 23:34)  Now that’s expecting less and loving more!

Then it hit me.  When it came to my kids—and many of my other relationships—I bought into another similar sounding message: “expect more, pay less.”  It’s the slogan of Target Corporation and it’s been heavily advertised into my heart.

It’s too easy to expect more of my children, particularly as they grow into young adults.  And I want to pay less too.  I’d like the sacrifices I’ve made as a dad to be paid back or, at least, to cost me less.  The “expect more, pay less” combination applied to relationships, however is lethal. Expectation of others without personal cost is demandingness.  Ironically, it’s a childish attitude.

Show you my tongueWhen my teenagers take off with their friends, leaving chores undone, do I really expect that they would put their parent’s desires above their own?  I say to myself, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”  When they come home later than we wanted to stay up waiting for them, can I admit I did the same at their age? Father, forgive them for they know not what they do. When their forgetfulness means more work for me, can I realistically expect a heartfelt appreciation for the schedule overhaul I just engineered? Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.

And when my Father looks down on my ungrateful, demanding spirit, wanting my way, my agenda, my comfort, in my time, can I hear Him say, “I forgive you, for you know not what you do?”

SOUND OFF:  What are some of the greatest lessons you’ve learned as a dad?

Chick-fil-A’s Daddy/Daughter Date night

June 23, 2010

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I had a date with my 18 year old daughter last night.  We’ve had a lot of dates during her 18 years.  This one was a little different.  I took her out to a really nice restaurant with table cloths, reservations required and great food.  No, it wasn’t a 5 star-expensive eatery.  It was a local Chick-fil-A restaurant in West Little Rock, AR.  And, it wasn’t my idea.  It was their’s–Chick-fil-A’s.  Using Facebook, the owner/operators sent out a message to all the Facebook Group members that they were having a daddy/daughter date night on Tuesday, June 22.  All you needed to do was to email or call to reserve your seat.  I thought, “what a great idea”.  Hadn’t had a date with my daughter for a while and we both love Chick-fil-A so, why not.   Then, after stopping there for lunch earlier in the week, there was a little bag stuffer that reminded me of the Daddy/Daughter date night.  I asked my daughter if she wanted to go and she was quick to take me up on the offer (probably because it was a free meal 🙂 but maybe because she wanted to spend some time with the old man too).  But, she thought that most of the “couples” might be dads with their young daughters so we went as “uninvited” guests–on the “dl” (down-low for the uncool).

We entered and saw the tables in a section of the restaurant reserved for dads and their dates.  Just before  they entered the restaurant they were given a name tag and checked off the invitation list.  The owners posted reservations in half-hour increments from 5-7 pm.  So, dads and their daughters were streaming in while I enjoyed dinner with my date in another part of the restaurant.  As the couples entered they were greeted by the CFA “Eat Mor Chikin'” cow.  After they ordered and were seated they enjoyed one of the finest chicken sandwiches (or whatever they ordered) on the planet (in my humble opinion).  Then, upon leaving, the young ladies were given a carnation as a reminder of their special evening.  Some of the dads took their young dates to the play area for an after dinner slide or climb.  All the while, my daughter and I shared a nice meal together, connecting about our days–nothing earth shattering–just some good, quality time together, along with many other dads and daughters.

For all of you restaurant owners/managers out there…here’s a great way for you to contribute to the health of your city.  By providing an evening event for dads that was easy for them to act upon, this Chick-fil-A manager provided a win/win scenario.  The popularity of the event meant he had not reserved a portion of his resaurant in vain (I spoke with his wife (they are friends) and she said the 5pm slot was sold out–not sure how the others went but we saw a steady stream of dads and daughters pouring in during and after our time there).  Additionally, there may have been some new dad/daughter date night traditions kicked off in that Chick-fil-A restaurant that night.  Overall, it was a great event for the restaurant and for dads in the Little Rock area.  Way to go, Chick-fil-A!!!  Dads…it’s also a great reminder to start dating your daughters AND your sons on a regular basis.  Chick-fil-A made this one a no-brainer.  But, it’s not hard.  In fact, I’ve heard of dads who have put on their “Sunday best” and come to the front door to pick up their finely dressed date.  Make it special…make it fun…make it simple—-but do “make it”.  And, if they are grown—start now.  Never a better time than the present to spend time with your children, no matter how old they are.

Well, I guess it’s time to start thinking about where I need to take my wife on a date now.  Any other restaurants in Little Rock want to invest in marriage dates?  I’ll be checking on Facebook.

To Every Dad that has ever…Happy Father’s Day

June 20, 2010

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This goes out to all of you dads who have

–       held your child right after they were born

–       gotten up in the middle of the night to rock your baby to sleep

–      changed a diaper but put it on backwards or stuck your hand with a pin (now I’m dating myself)

–       tasted the baby food to make sure it was the right temperature-even the peas

–      been a horse while your kids have been the cowboy (or cowgirl)

–      played catch with your child

–      pulled your child as far back as they can go in a swing so that you could run forward and let them fly high

–      prepared the bandage for an “owie” and kissed a “boo boo” on your child

–      taken off or waited to go to work to attend your childs school play or watched them walk up those bus stairs for the first time

–      wrestled with your kid until you were both exhausted (ok—only you were exhausted)

–      set your child on a brand new bike with streamers, bells and horns and then walked with them holding tightly, jogged releasing your grip a little and eventually letting them go down the street praying they wouldn’t fall.  And then doing it again, and again, and again until they went all by themselves

–      cuddled with your kids under the covers because they just had a nightmare

–      given up a nights sleep so that your child could have a sleep-over with 7 of the loudest kids you’ve ever heard

–      had to tell your child “no” to something that you knew would not be good for them

–      said “yes” to your child even when you felt like saying “no” because you knew they were growing up

–      left the office with work to be done so you could enjoy dinner together at home

–      planned an activity that you knew your child wanted to do, even if it wasn’t your “cup o’ tea”

–      kneeled next to your child as they “got sick” in the bathroom while you rubbed their back and just cleaned up any mess and carried them back to bed.

–      sat watching your child’s baseball or soccer game even when it was 45 degrees and windy

–      taken your child on regular dates—just you and he/she

–       told your child you loved them

–      hurt inside when they made a bad choice–disciplined them but never let them feel abandoned or disgraced—no matter how bad their choice was

–       loved your wives well as an example to your kids

–       just sat and listened to your child and looked into their eyes as they spoke (no newspaper, TV or computer to disrupt you)

–       had THE talk with your adolescent

–       cried with your child

–       asked forgiveness from your child

–       laughed with your child—I mean really laughed—the belly-kind of laugh

–       sat on the passenger side of your car, nearly putting your feet through the floor board as they learned about the physics of an automobile in motion and time needed to stop

–       taken your family on a vacation

–       waited up for them every night they were out making sure they got home safely

–       given them one of the great dad cliché’s like, “this is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you” or “don’t make me stop this car”

–       took the time to chat with the young man who was about to take your daughter on a date—just letting him know that this was no ordinary date because she is no ordinary girl

–       talked to your son about how to treat a woman

–       written your child a letter telling them how proud you are of them

–       shared the truth of God with them, talked to them about God and lead them to a foundation from which they could enter into a personal relationship with God

–       worn out the carpet in front of their bedrooms while you prayed for them, their faith, their future spouse and their choices in life

–       stood by them when they made poor (sometimes damagingly poor) choices; told them you loved them; exacted appropriate discipline but didn’t shame them or let them feel abandoned

–       been a friend to their friends

–       taught them a hobby or sport

–       sat in the auditorium as their names were announced for graduation

–       drove them up to college for the first time with a car full of stuff and then drove back—vehicle empty—eyes full (of tears)

–       walked a daughter down the aisle or watched your son take a woman into his arms so that they could begin a new life and start a new family yet continuing all the things you’ve built into them

–       held your first grandchild and felt the tears of joy run down your face knowing another generation has been launched…

To all of you dads who have experienced any, all and/or much more than the above and know what it means to be a father—from all of us at DadPad—you are our hero

HAPPY FATHER’S

DAY

From the Set of Courageous: A Sheriffs Heart

June 17, 2010

If you ever want to really see the power of a father in a child’s life (good or bad) just ask someone to share thoughts about what they would say to their dad if he was standing there next to them at that moment.  I had that opportunity as I worked on the set of Courageous as part of my job at FamilyLife and helping with the promotion of fatherhood issues raised in the movie via social media.  Nearly every time I asked that at the end of an interview I conducted emotions were raw and sometimes there were tears–both joy and pain.  The movie is still being filmed and won’t be released until 2011.  But, there is so much power coming through the movie that I wanted to share or repost a blog article from Courageous Movie’s website/blog. And, since we are nearing father’s day, it’s appropriate to listen to and think about.

From Courageous Movie website:

When Sherwood Pictures was filming Fireproof, the support of the Albany Fire Department was an important element in helping the film realistically portray the realities firefighters face on a daily basis.

With Courageous, the support of the Dougherty County Sheriff’s Department, led by Sheriff Kevin Sproul, has been equally important—and equally impressive. Members of the Sheriff’s Department have been on set at different times throughout the filming, including Sheriff.

Stephen Kendrick spoke with Sheriff Sproul this week, but the focus of their conversation wasn’t on moviemaking or law enforcement. Instead, they spoke about the power of a father.

When we hear that phrase, we want to think about the positive influence of a dad in a child’s life. But in this video, Sheriff Sproul tells how he saw a father’s impact unfortunately played out in the life of a young man he coached in youth baseball.

As Father’s Day arrives this weekend, our prayer becomes more intense that dads everywhere will be inspired by Courageous to stand strongly and proudly proclaim, “But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Dad Day: Gifts and Laughs

June 15, 2010

Ties.  Ugly Shirts.  Suspenders.  Hammocks.  What do all these have in common?  Well, they are typically some of the most often cited gifts that dad’s either actually or supposedly receive for Father’s Day (which, by the way is this Sunday for my kids who might be reading this—yea right ;).  For the most part, my family has done well to provide nicely chosen, practical and useful gifts.  I really can’t offer any funny anecdotal story about some hilarious gift I received from my kids.  But, I know some of you can!  So, here’s the deal.

What are some of the most funny, useless, returnable, memorable, or otherwise discussion-worthy gifts you’ve ever received (or given) on Father’s Day?

P.S.  For a list of what NOT to give Dad this year, check out this list:

http://bit.ly/94ktj0