Model Making Memories

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Studies show that if you have eyewitnesses to the same event, the details they recall will be different, even when asked shortly after the event. And, of course the longer between event and recollection, distortion between reality and perception grows even greater. Wikipedia made this statement on the reliability of eyewitness testimony, Eyewitness identification evidence is the leading cause of wrongful conviction in the United States. ” As a dad, I’m smack dab in the middle of seeing as much of my parenting in the rear-view mirror as I see through the windshield. As my kids get older I’m beginning to get my dad “grade” via conversations with them that usually begin, “I remember when”. I’m living out the truth that what I said and did may not be exactly what they experienced. Take making models with my son.

During Thanksgiving break from college, my soon-to-graduate son and I recalled the times when we worked on model cars together. My recollection was of us working on them together.  A real “bonding” time ;).  He recalled that he watched while I worked frusratingly trying to unglue my fingers from each other with those microscopic pieces of plastic. Same event-completely different recollections. I was never a big model car guy but thought it would be something a dad and son could do together. Wanting to be in control and allowing your children to gain tangible experiences are natural enemies of each other.  It requires an intentional effort on behalf of the dad to combat. In his 21yr old memory, that experience did not have the bonding impact I had really desired. If I had known then what I know now…

I’m thankful my son and I have a relationship where he can be honest with me in sharing his thoughts and feelings without it impacting our closeness.

Are there things that you are engaging in with your kids that you need to let go of? I mean that you need to let them experience without there being a right or wrong, succeed or fail outcome? Certainly there are things where right needs to be distinguished from wrong and we need to steer our kids out of traps.  But when it comes to helping them develop their skills, abilities and interests I think it’s more important that they do more of the work while we encourage, guide and cheer them on. If I had done that we may have had a model car with a steering wheel in the wrong place on the model car, but he may have developed an interest or aptitude in something he’d be refining today.

WHAT SAY U?? Share an experience where you were stifled or encouraged in something that had a lingering impact on you. Or, share something you are doing today to come alongside your child to foster a deeper relationship without regard to the activity itself.

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2 Responses to “Model Making Memories”

  1. Randy Beadle Says:

    The wisdom that come with age is so awesome. Your insight is so on the mark. Today I too have gained the wisdom of age and get to share with my grandkids the memories that will last a lifetime and gain the bond that you wrote about

  2. Jeff Abramovitz Says:

    There is a “positive” to the graying or losing of ones hair :). And, as God designed, there are opportunities to improve and practice those things we may have learned later in life…aka grandkids! Sounds like you are using that truth wisely. Thanks for the comment, Randy.

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