Timing (and place) Is Everything

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I picked my daughter, Amy, up from school one day last week and stopped off at Chick-fil-a. We were both hungry, but I also had a couple issues I wanted to discuss.

She was a little surprised by my questions, but our discussion went very well. As we were wrapping up, she asked me if our talk was the reason we’d stopped for something to eat. I said it was and thanked her for not being defensive.

Amy would be the first to admit that the drive to and from school is not her favorite time of day to talk. (I have her permission to share that!) Stopping for something to eat made our discussion not only possible but very enjoyable…for both of us.

Choosing the right time and place to talk makes all the difference. I rocking-chair-clockdidn’t always understand that, which led to a lot of mistakes with my oldest daughter. I often picked the wrong time and place to talk with her. The result was that we battled each other more than we talked. Fortunately, we have a great relationship today.

Have you found a good time and place to talk with your children? If not, give it some thought. Keep in mind, it will likely be different for each child. Makes it interesting, right?

SOUND OFF:  What’s working for you?  How have you determined when and where you address issues with your children?  Do you discuss with your spouse first?

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2 Responses to “Timing (and place) Is Everything”

  1. Matt Says:

    Good words Gregg! I just talked to my 6 year old daughter about going out once a week on a daddy-daughter-date. I was surprised at how excited she was! After a while, I think it would be cool to invite some of her other friends and their daddys out for a once a month fun time in a group. It seems to me like picking the time and place to talk to my daughter is important, but even more important is getting started at all. I have had the tendency to think, “Oh, she’s still young. I can wait until she’s older.” If I had waited much longer to do this date thing, who knows if it might have been too late?

  2. Gregg Stutts Says:

    Matt,
    Way to go! It’s great that you’re starting now to build a solid relationship with your daughter. It will pay off big later on. And what a great idea to reach out to other dads and their daughters. Who knows what kind of impact you’ll have! Very exciting!

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